What is it about being completely surrounded by strangers so comforting at times?
The chitter chatter of several conversations happening at the same time all around me.
It makes me happy.
A chuckle.
A look.
A hand gesture.
Intense focus.
A comic facial expression.
Facial expressions in general.
I think that’s one of the biggest reasons why I love cafes.
People, and the random goings-on that I have no part of but still feel like I am indirectly experiencing, just by observing.
Right, I know, I stare. Its not nice. But its fascinating and I’m not harming anyone when I do.
Being alone in a completely different city…where friendships have yet to be firmly established, you miss, you crave the warm and comforting contact of your friends who know you inside and out.
No need to put up any fronts/ facades/ or try extra hard to be liked.
I can just be me and not expect to be judged. To be free. To let go.
I have moved countless times and have made deep, warm and long lasting connections with people from all over the world, but the process of transition is never easy.
You will always feel lonely at some point.
You will always feel embarrassed or uncertain.
Navigating through complex webs of human relationships is a scary process.
People are wonderfully and refreshingly different, and I love and absolutely appreciate that.
BUT that doesn’t mean getting to know people is a piece of pie.
Sitting here, however, knowing no one but still feeling like I’m part of something is like a temporary fix. I don’t have to do anything. I just have to soak in and observe.
——
BTW, Chicago is really fantastic.
I love the dingy smell of the subway or the “El” which is what they call it here.
Haha, I know its gross but I don’t care.
Subway smells take me to precious nostalgic places.
